Everyone would meet their wall...a dead-end in their life...sooner or later...
But sometimes we didn't realize that may be we are the one who made that wall...
How much the courage do you have to break that wall?
Most people would choose the safety way...

Do I have courage to break my own wall?
I don't know....may be no...but it can be yes anytime....
Something that make me hesitate....are my parents...
But I know....sooner or later....I would make them sad with my own choice of life...
Because for now...my freedom is my everything.....

When the time comes...there's a possibility that I wouldn't hesitate at all to break the wall...
May be the others would be sad and disappointed...
But that's the way I am...

I'm just a human who live my life...my own life...in this mother earth...
That's all...


~~~

My sis :


Friends in real life :




Our Lovely Community ^^ :


Others :

Life is a choice. Each time in our life, we make a choice. There's nothing wrong or right in every choices. There's nothing absolute. And we won't know where it takes us to.

Even at some time we thought that our choice is wrong. But it wouldn't make us wrong to choose that. Because whatever it is would always 'give' us something.
That's what I believed.

I feel that at some point in my life, I have to make an important choice. And most of it would make me confuse. What path should I choose? Sometimes I just keep it flow. Not choosing anything till the chance come to me and makes me choose.

I'm grateful with the way I'm now. With what I have and what I don't have. With what I could do and with what I couldn't.
Even so, I'm still not satisfied, I still want more. Sometime I feel the path that I chose isn't really for me, that it's only a stepping stone to the one that 'right' for me.

Few days ago I took a quiz, a fortune telling or something like that. It's just for fun though. But when the result told me that "There's still enough time yet for you to take different path", then I felt a thump in my heart. "Is it true? That I still have time to take different path?".
May be it's the time for me to thinking it over again. What do I really want to do?



My sis :


Friends in real life :




Others :

Such a long time since I update the journal ^_^
I just walking and keep going through the days. Life goes on calmly....but still fun.

I took some fun trip....met nice people, new people....and saw how beautiful the earth is.
I always want to go traveling around the world. But now I just want to travel around my country first (may be before another countries...hehehe....).

Now I love my own country more than before. I love the nature more. I became silent infront of its beautifulness.
It's really a hidden paradise.

I feel like not wanting anything anymore, because what already here is enough. (well, except a real digital camera and more travel to many places...hehehhe...)

So, just go on....and on.....
Past is a past, now is now and future would be a future.....

~Peaceful mind become a peaceful 'world'~






My sis :


Friends in real life :


dan lain-lain ahh (tlalu males masukin semua....hehehe....gomen ne...)

Club :

Ooouuhhh Lifeeee.......-__-;;;
What I want most for now is....
VACATION!!!!!!
I need it.
I want to go to Bali, Lombok, Wakatobi, Papua...
Well, okay...the last one is really difficult to be real. The cost for airplane to Papua is enough for small & short vacation itself. It's cheaper to go to Singapore than Papua. Hiks.

What are you thinking?! Working and living by yourself in this big city. Yes, what was I thinking when I decided this? Hmm, well, I don't know ^_^;;;
Yes, may be I just search for problems. And yes, it IS lonely to live just by yourself. I'm alone here. Even though there're friends, but it's still different than a family.

Every day, since morning till evening I stay at office. At night I just stay on my bed while reading, listening or watching anything in my lovely laptop to find a little fun for my tired body and mind.
In the weekend, I spend it for a walk or just hang out and find other place than my office or my room.
But sometimes, when it's tiresome to go out, I just spend the whole day in my small room.
Yes, it's boring. And it's tiresome. Sometimes, I just want to go out from this life and do something more lively. But I didn't. At least, not yet.

But you know, I still love this life. I enjoy it. I TRY to enjoy it. Because there's no advantage for living while cursed the life itself.
So I just keep walking and see how my life would go and where it would ended. Until I reach 'home' and at last can rest my body and soul.

Just try to enjoy life. In some meaning it's really interesting. How problems come to us. How we strunggle to solve it. How we learn from it. And how much we grow up after facing many problems in our life. Just enjoy it.
Life is not beautiful. But still, we can found some beauty within it.

Nakama = watashi no sekai

My friends are my world
My friends are my home

But now it's broken apart.

So girls, it's time to renovate the 'house'.
I'm begging you......

May be I'm egoist. I left you all, but I don't want you to change and leave me.
I want all of you to stay there, not changing much, just like before. A happy & fun friendships.
I come 'home' to take a break from the hectic and coldness world. But I almost can't see my 'house' and it's broken my heart.
Because, even though I'm going to the real (=adult) world, but I'm still wanting a 'home' to rest.
I know, that's my egoism.
But the world is moving, everyone is moving, life is moving...

I can't say much back then, not even a half that I want to say in my heart.
I told this and that, but I'm not the one that facing it directly with you.

The world is full of rules, norms, & belief systems. And each of us have different opinions, different point of view.
But, let us all take it off. Put those aside. Let's not talk about right or wrong, just see as grey, not black or white, not "should" or "shouldn't".
RUles, just rules...norms just norms....that just Human made.
Can't we see each other outside those things?
We are still human, we are still friends, even without counting all of that, aren't we?
Or did you thinking & counting that to make a friend?

It's not that I'm not affected by those things.
I just don't want that only because of those matter, I loss my precious friends.

What would you feel if you're in her position? What would you feel if you're in my position?
What would you feel if you're in others position?
Can you really say that what you and others did really right or wrong?
Even 'your logic' say it's wrong, there's still a 'feeling'. Because we're human that has a 'feeling', that's why there's no more the absolute thing in 'right' or 'wrong'.

I'm writing this because I'm bad in talking, the words that come out from my mouth isn't exactly what I want to say.

Enough for me to be chameleon in social life, but I want to be just the way I am in front of you.
I won't take side.

I'm disappointed with everyone, I'm disappointed with myself. I'm disappointed because I have expectancy in our friendships. I hope it's not only in happy and fun way, I hope it'll be deeper.
Don't too hard to others.
Don't too hard to yourself.
Say sorry to others and to yourself.
Give forgiveness to others and to yourself.

I know it's hard. It's hard for all of us. And I only can talk, now I even just writing.
I just want to say that I DON'T WANT to losing You. All of you are important to me.

So, let's renew our friendships...
I know, we need times....We're all hurted, disappointed....
But please, DON'T GIVE IT UP..........

Let's rebuild our HOME.

Pleassseeee.....Onegaiiiiii....TT_TT